Why You Do What You Do During Sex
Understanding what happens to your body during sex can explain all those nagging questions like, "Why does it take men so long to get hard again?" Or "Why is a woman's orgasm 15 seconds compared to mens 5 seconds".
While you are moaning, groaning, and laying back enjoying the ride, your body is checking off a massive to do list to make it all happen.
The brain hones in on the pleasurable sensations, while your sexual system works its butt off to create all the physiological changes necessary for arousal or orgasm.
The sexual response roughly divides into 4 phases. As always…knowledge is power. Understand the theory of what is happening inside the pleasure zone and you are one step ahead of the rest.
PS: Do not get too hung up if your body does not do what it is "supposed to" or deviates from the order.
1) The Excitement Phase
Nipples harden and become erect, breathing quickens, the skin may become flushed.
Him: Blood flows into the penis making it swell; the testicles begin to flatten and rise. As excitement increases, a drop of pre-ejaculatory fluid comes out of the top of the penis, nicely lubricating the area.
Her: The vaginal walls get tighter, causing a secretion of fluid that lubricates the vagina. Blood flows to the clitoris, making it enlarge, harden and protrude from between the vaginal lips.
2) The Plateau Phase
Heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, muscular tension all start to skyrocket.
Him: The penis reaches its maximum size, the testicles flatten and rise even closer to the body. This is the point where men need to stop stimulation immediately or be totally unable to control ejaculation.
Her: The vagina expands while contractions and lubrication increase. Increased blood flow to the libia and vaginal entrance cause the whole area to darken to a deep red/purple color.
3) The Orgasmic Phase
The nipples are erect, a slight reddening appears across the chest and genital, the heart speeds up, the bodies muscles tense, and the anus also contracts. While the feeling of orgasm is spectacular, the process of it is relatively simple.
Orgasm happens when the genital area cannot stand the increased blood flow. The body then "let's go" and the blood flows back into the rest of the body.
It's the instant release - the spasm of letting the blood rush back into the rest of the body and the release of muscular tension - that is the orgasm.
Him: The seminal vesicle is full and semen begins to flow upward, toward the head of the penis. This moment is called "ejaculatory inevitability". You could wave a million dollars in front of him and he would still be powerless to stop.
The penis contracts once every 0.8 of a second and semen spurts out of the tip. Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate processes: ejaculation is the physical part; orgasm is the feeling.
Her: The entire genital area is engorged with blood and the clitoris is erect. On climax, lubrication increases dramatically and the vaginal walls contract every 0.8 of a second - the same interval as penile contractions.
(To make up for his orgasms being more automatic and easier to achieve, Mother Nature extends the length of female sensation. His orgasm usually last an average of five seconds; hers last about 15.)
The uterus contracts and dips down slightly during orgasm. This also causes the mouth of the cervix to dip - directly into the vaginal cavity where he's spilled his semen, giving it a head start on its journey to the egg.
4) The Resolution Phase
The body returns to normal. Blood drains genitals; heart rate and blood pressure decrease.
Him: The testicles drop and become looser and larger. The penis returns to half its erect size immediately and to its normal size within 30 minutes. Few men can go straight from resolution to the excitement or orgasm phase immediately. Most men need a resting stage after orgasm, when the body relaxes and rejuvenates itself, refusing to become aroused until it has achieved both.
Her: The blood flows away from the genital area and the genitals lose their heightened color. The clitoris often feels extremely sensitive immediately after orgasm. Why? One minute it is engorged with blood, the next minute it is drained of it - so it has gone from one extreme to another. This is why skin can also feel itchy post-orgasm.
Brian Ayers is the author of "How to be a Better Lover In Three Days or Less" and the soon to be released book "Testosterone Wars: The Battle For Your Fountain of Youth". He is also the founder and President of Ayers Naturals which sales sexual health supplements such as Sorrelex and the aphrodisiac African Fly.